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Confession: Si Paling Gaenakan
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miss.autumn
Confession: Si Paling Gaenakan
Sumber foto: https://unsplash.com/s/photos/diary
I just realized everything will change. Nothing stays forever; people come and go, so they are. On one hand, we might see that there are so many positive sides, but on the other hand, we forget about the negative sides. You should be aware of your thoughts about humans. We are all just humans. We can hurt anyone in every situation. Although we thought it was all right. No one is born perfect, and it makes us keep judging people all the time. So, in this case, we should manage our curiosity. Everyone has privacy, and when someone says it's secret, just quiet. Perhaps he needs to be healed several times.
Today was the first time I took another chance on "that" part. It was hard and I thought it would be difficult for me to do it. But, when I joined the space, it was fun. Dear self, don’t forget to be grateful. You were good; everything was all right. You don’t need to worry about tomorrow. Just take a deep breath and drink your tea. Dearest self, we have struggled many times and it’s time for us to be happy. Just relax and enjoy your day!
Additionally, so many people have told me their experiences. I don’t know but sometimes I feel like I want to feel like them. And another part of me told me that it couldn’t. I felt like I wasn't pretty enough while someone I admired was more attractive than me. So I thought that I couldn’t be his girl. It hurts to see him with so many girls, but I know the consequences at first. And I was good at hiding all of my feelings. I don’t know what the feeling is, but I think I just jumped into the first stage. Please help me to get to a better stage, whether I have to go or stay because it was confusing to hide the feelings. But it's fine if I thought I should meet him at a later stage, like when we were 23, or if we already knew what was best for us.
I talked too much today because I wasn’t right. I don’t know, but it hurt to hear and see him with her and I just stayed quiet and hide this feeling alone.
I was the greatest admirer, lol. Maybe in another life, I will try to be the worst admirer because sometimes it’s really weird to be me.
I don’t want to start crying today because I loved him or maybe jealous or anything else.
I just want to be okay with him or without him.
I think that's enough for today because I want to move on to another job.
Overall, it was good, and hopefully, tomorrow will be better. Keep it up, myself.
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